Source: Pexums.com

Source: Pexums.com

That day, I was rushing off to meet up with an appointment.

I couldn’t board a taxi because I didn’t book earlier and I hate getting into the traditional Lagos taxi because it could drive me crazy with cranky noise and all.
 
So danfo it was. The big bro danfo with an extended roof.
 
I didn’t want to board this bus. It seems my nostrils picked the scent of trouble from a distance and alerted my intuition to tell my legs not to proceed.
 
My legs refused to make a move from where I stood but the conductor kept doing his marketing theatrics and I decided to enter.
 
I was the only one who got in. Technically. But my bag came along, so that would theoretically make it two. But few people I know pay t-fares for buses. I’ve done so once or twice but I didn’t do so today.
 
We were quarter way there when the conductor asked me to pay. N500 found its way into his hands.
 
“How many people you dey pay for?” A funny question because everyone on my seat had paid him plus when I got in, I got in alone, after he did his theatrics with.
 
“One. How many people you see for here?”
 
“I say how many people you dey pay for?”
 
No, I can’t answer this so I did this instead, “You want make I pay for my bag?”
 
“See you, na so una dey fail exam for school.”
 
*laughter in the bus*
 
Typically, I would ignore but this was iyanga sleeping and trouble kept poking at him, so I shut him up with a one-liner, “You wey sabi pass exams, wetin you dey do as conductor?”
 
*laughter and more laughter; I swear, I laughed too*
 
The conductor didn’t give me my change; perphaps because of the one-liner and when I got down and he gave me N100 less and I discovered and chided him for trying to hold back my balance, he said to me, “Na your type dey enter bus run comot without paying conductor money.”
 
My heart broke. I looked at myself, draped in black. I think I looked at the N100 change and shook my head.
 
That was the last week of 2015. So I told myself, I’d do my best this year or next to upgrade from Danfo Tales or Taxi Tales to Personal Car Tales. We’ve got to stay progressive.
Written by Okwukwe
Writer + Entrepreneur + Designer + Creative Artist + Tech Lover + Firework Lover + Travel Freak + Retired Economist ('08-'12) = Okwukwe

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