The picture you see is relationship goal numero uno but hold that thought until I’m done writing this…
When my parents fell in love and got all romantic, cuddled up and wedded, there was no social media. That was far back as 32 years ago. It made things easier.
Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg was just born then or about to be born. Instagram’s Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger were just 3 years old. Twitter’s Evan Williams (10 years old), Jack Dorsey (6 years old), Noah Glass (12 years old), Biz Stone (9 years old).
Your crush, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband, future husband, past wife, future wife and past husband could be getting all loved up in pictures with others and you won’t know. Never ever!
That made things easier: Ignorance is bliss and in this case, infinitely blissful.
Needless to say, the social media we know today was yet to be. Some of you reading this are older than social media. So, you can act like most Nigerian parents or adults looking for whom to senior and tell Facebook, “See ehn, when I was your age… blah blah blah,” or stuff like that.
Enter social media: Facebook in 2004, Twitter in 2006, Instagram in 2010 and the rest.
Jealousy entered with them. Where social media is gathered, jealousy is there in her midst.
Way back then – by then, go back memory lane to some months/years ago and stay right there – I was this emotional child. Child. Not even a teen.
I was this emotional child because if I was crushing really hard on a lady and she gets all cozy and romantic in a picture with another guy, I’d get jealous. Really jealous. Lucky me, I’ve only crushed really hard on few ladies. Perhaps 1, 2.
But really, crushes are often a waste of precious time if it has to do with messing up your day with a picture here, a picture there; a day that could be spent doing something else: gaming, writing, sleeping and conversing with the things that stay awake at night (bats, ‘witches’ that think they’re witches, cats with sexy eyes, etc).
I swear, I needed growing up. So, one day, my spirit sat my body down just like it sat it down here and they had a great convo. After that convo, there were changes.
Gradual changes, of course. It was like an addiction and to break free from addiction, it’s a gradual process.
Say, if you were addicted to smoking weed (3 wraps/day), to get off the addiction, you can’t just decide to take 0 wrap/day; ask your pastor and if he’s truthful, he’ll tell you the truth: You’ve got to take about 2.5 wraps/day for 14 days and then step down to 2 wraps/day for another 14, then step down to about 1.5 wraps/day. Like so.
In those gradual changes, I realized something which is the point of this post. Make that three:
- Stash your jealousy in a trash can and leave people to take pictures. If you like pictures, go and have a picture fiesta. And if you’re like me who’s picture-shy, admire the pictures (some are really cute).
- These pictures on social media, they don’t matter. Most times.
- Trust me, pictures have almost no correlation on who’s dating who, who’s going to date who, who’s marrying who, who’s going to marry who, etc. Forget the social media validation a la likes and comments like, “Ah, beautiful couple,” “On your wedding day…” The heart knows where it belongs and will actually return to where it belongs and likes.
Even if the heart doesn’t know where it belongs and chooses not to return to you, I’m just saying that…
…today is Saturday in Nigeria and if marriage is a goal for you right now, couples are taking vows every Saturday and some are divorcing every other day. Join the train with another heart.
Relationships, though important aren’t – and will never be – the basis for which you’re on this earth. Find a purpose and then, you see that picture above, you’ll fit within the frame. Your career is something worth investing that jealousy energy into.